The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
