it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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