you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
