umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
