real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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