i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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