Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
