spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
