We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Who died my cat blue again?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
