things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize