Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
