he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
