im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
