he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
