More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
