smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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