I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize