Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
