So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
