She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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