and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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