yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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