she woke up with a sticky ear
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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