I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just high enough for therapy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
