Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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