Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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