I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
