I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
