Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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