I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
