we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
