Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
