He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
