if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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