are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize