Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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