college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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