I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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