i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
