Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize