So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
