Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
