I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
