Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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