If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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