If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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