eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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