I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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