She's JV to your varsity
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
