Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
