3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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