I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
