She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
