I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
