matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize