Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Your mouth is God's brothel.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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