just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
