I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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