I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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