im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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