if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
