my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
All I want is dick and wine.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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