so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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