Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I supernannyed him into submission
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
