bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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