she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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