I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
