I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
