I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize